Oh, The Joys of Corporate America

When I was hired by a company several years ago, I was welcomed to join their ranks with an “out of the ordinary welcoming committee.” It all came down at lunchtime, when my new co-workers invited me to join them in the lunch room. They explained to me that they were always anxious to learn a little bit about the newcomers, so they wanted to ask me a few questions.

The ringleader (c’mon, every office has one) began by saying that they had put together a series of questions to figure out the type of person I was.

Question #1 – “If we walked into your kitchen right now, could we find crumbs on the top of your toaster?” To which I responded “no”, and as I looked around the table they were all nodding their heads.

Question #2 – “How many times a year do you clean your oven?” (This was back in the day before self cleaning ovens were popular.) I cautiously responded “It depends on how much I use it, I just clean it when it needs it.” Again the circle of women around me all nodded their heads in agreement, looking like those little dogs that you placed in your car’s back window, whose head would bob up and down.

Question #3 – “Do you wipe off the top of the ketchup bottle each time it is used, before putting it back in the refrigerator?” (Again, this was back when ketchup bottles were glass, and had screw on caps – not the squirter type bottles of today; however, I still wipe off the top after each use.) I took a deep breath, though “Lord help me” to myself, and reluctantly spoke out “Yes, yes I do.”

Again, all the ladies nodded in agreement and the ringleader said, “See I told you – she’s one of those kinds.”

I’m so happy those days are behind me. I love retirement!

(Photo props – By Unknown or not provided (U.S. National Archives and Records Administration) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)


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